Friday, May 20, 2011

Grutz says, "MAN! WHY DID I PAY OFF MY STUDENT LOANS?!?"

"It's the end of the world as we know it."

(Knock, knock.  Nick opens door.)
"Yes, may I hel...oh, it's you guys."  (Over his shoulder) "Honey?  Did you invite the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse for dinner?"
So tomorrow ushers in a new era, according to some, that begins 'the end of days.'  If this is true, and it's not, I would be very, very angry.  One, I have a lot of things on my plate right now.  Seriously, if the second coming of Christ makes me reschedule my next two months, heads will role (no pun intended).  Two, why have I paid off any of my debts?  Three, the Big 10 has divisions now, and the Hawkeyes have a pretty good schedule, I think they'll do well.  A bunch of angels and crap slicing and dicing the fans at Kinnick will not bode well for bowl season.

Ok, joking aside, let's pretend.  If we knew the end was tomorrow, what would you do on your last day?  Think about it.  This isn't like a magic make a wish.  I can't say I'd watch the sun setting in Hawaii.  I'm in Chicago, it would be almost impossible for me to fly there and a waste of time, too.  But take five minutes today, get out a piece of paper and think for a good five minutes and then write down what you would do on your final day.  Start at the beginning of the day.  Would you rise early to catch the sunrise?  Where would you watch it?  Would you sleep in with a loved one, and then share a devilishly good breakfast?  I think we would all be surprised.  Or maybe not.

But seriously, if a the zombies start coming on Saturday, I will be SO pissed off!
DAMN ZOMBIES!  I hate detours.

2 comments:

afx said...

i'd say some major hat eating may be in order. but they won't.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2011/may/20/end-of-world-doomsday-prophets

Nick said...

By 'hat eating' you mean.........