Thursday, November 11, 2010

Return to writing and announcing change!

To our fearless dear readers, so sorry to leave you hanging!  This blogs intention is to document this whole year, even though our first leg is over and the adventure is taking on a new face, I’m going to keep writing.  
What a journey this has been.  I know I ended one of my last few blog entries with “what follows is blissfully unknown,” and while it is all unknown, I am rescinding the blissful part.  On the way back from Denver, I got a call from a Chicago Public School, desiring to talk with me about a 4th grade position.  I called back, left a message, and expected to hear nothing, as has been my experience with CPS.  We made it back to Dubuque in record time, by 8:55 pm, voting closed at 9pm.  We were more thrilled than ever to exercise the right to vote in this election, I wanted to make my mark on preventing the Republicans from gaining control, unfortunately my ink wasn’t strong enough, but it was still exciting being the very last person to vote in the Holy Trinity church basement in little Dubuque, IA.  
Even though Dubuque isn’t home for us yet, it’s more home than anything else, besides our faithful Subaru, and frankly, Theresa’s house is way more comfortable that our car.  It was so great to be “home,” for the very short time that we were able to be.  The next morning I did hear back from the assistant principal at Spry Elementary School, they needed a 4th grade teacher to fill in for a maternity leave.  Interestingly, they are hiring a full time teacher and offering full time pay, even though it is a temporary position.  
Today, about 1 week from the phone call, I’ve been teaching for 3 days, Nick is back in Dubuque tying up loose ends, and we are looking for a sublet.  This opportunity feels too good to pass up, and though this is not the absolute last place that I thought I’d end up in the next few weeks, it’s near the end of the list.   The school, from all angles, appears to be a great place to learn and grow.  When you look up the idiom “trial by fire,” in the dictionary, you will see a picture of me, with 26 ELL (English Language Learner) smiling students, all of whom speak Spanish as their first language.  They are 9 and 10 years old, most come from families with five children, and most of their parents are my age or younger.  This is going to be fun. 
Yesterday was my first “official” day, with an employee id swipe card, a position number and a salary.  I was with the students all day long, with a quick break for a grade level meeting (these happen once a week on Wednesdays).  The kids are thrilled to have someone consistent in the room, “Ms. Healy, are you coming back tomorrow? Yes?  For the whole day?” Imagine kids fist pumping and high fiveing, and I haven’t even done anything yet.  The more I think about it, and despite the obvious struggles of being in a room with 26 pairs of inquiring eyes and flying by the seat of my pants as I plan in the moment, this is an ideal way for me to experience teaching.  These kids are joyful, willing, even a little nerdy, in the best way.  Something has been instilled in them about the nature of education, the importance of it, and how worth it is for them to be present and attentive.  They exhibit genuine concern when another classmate is struggling, and all are willing to help their peers whenever I ask.  They all have homework notebooks, and without any sort of prodding, accept any assignment I give them.  I think it’s going to be good.  Of course, it’s all contingent upon my heart settling down a little bit, and knowing where I’m going to be sleeping next week, and figuring out if Nick is going to be with me here or not.  Once I know these things, it will truly be alright.
But until then, and so far, it’s been hard.  It’s important to note that I fall into the category of humans that need daily hugs and for whom big life changes incur incredible fragility (and likewise strength).  This time hasn’t been without teary conversations and uncertainty, deeply unsettling nights, and husband miscommunication, only made worse by cell phones.  Thanks goodness CPS appreciates their Veterans, I don’t know if I would have made it out of bed this morning.  After 3 days in the classroom, almost a week of inhabiting my good and so gracious friends apartment, countless trips walking to the CPS building in an inconvenient area of town, spending 3-4 hours on the train everyday, and immediately taking on the teacher role with very little transitional time, I was very ready to crack.  All this compounded by husband incommunicado (equal parts cell phone issues and other things), my crack turned into a fissure.
Today I slept in until 6:45, laid in bed and looked for sublets, could not rouse myself to productivity until at least 9, when I had some food and decided that I needed a yoga class.  Thankfully, Yoganow has a new studio near my friends Laura and Tim’s house.  I took a Forrest yoga class, my first, and tried desperately to calm my thinking and concentrate on breath.  Success came and went like smoke around a campfire, but still I enjoyed the flames.  And now, I continue my therapy with writing and hanging out in a nearby coffee shop.  I am impressed with The Common Cup, so nice to have tasty tomato florentine soup and a huge brownie.  And all for a steal.  I even had enough cash. 
Now that I can hear the individual thoughts again, instead of the mash that my brain has been for the past few days, I’m going to start planning for next week.  Spry has an interesting approach to curriculum; they combine a few different curricula together and give teachers much latitude in sharing the information.  I have so much reading to do, despite my late entry into this classroom, everyone seems to think that I can pull it all together and be on board for everything that’s expected, without really telling me what’s said expectations are.
Nick is on his way, he’s bringing some of our things so that when we find somewhere to stay we will have tea from our teapot and our own pillows and blankets.  The day is slipping by, looks like we will be looking for apartments tomorrow after school instead of today.  It’s calming knowing he’s coming, even if for a short while.  I think he’s struggling with the idea of being back in Chicago, even for a few months, but I don’t know for sure, another casualty of cell phone communication. 

Note: Regardless of where we are in the world, I am dedicated to continue writing in this blog format, it gives purpose to what we are doing, and it's a competent way to document this year, so while there will be lulls, I will always come back to it so keep reading!  As for Nick, he still owes us a post on Arches National Park, so keep bugging him!




5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Keep breathing! Everyone had a first few days of teaching and these are yours! You have mastered half the battle--it sounds as though the kids are glad to have you in the classroom. Focus on a day at a time--you'll be just fine.... Jill

afx said...

What a nice surprise to find a new post! You can count on this avid reader sticking around. I WILL bug Nick, his posts are hilarious.

Sounds like you got a great bunch of kids, but I think they're really lucky to have you too.

Love ya tons, Matt

carleen said...

Thanks guys! "One day at a time" is my mantra, and it's truly so nice to know that I have readers! Love you!

Peggy said...

You can do this Carleen! You will be amazing and I'm sure you'll gain more from the experience than you can imagine. And yes, you have not only loyal readers but a legion of cheerleaders who are behind you all the way.

lynn said...

Those kids are super duper lucky. I'm really happy for you.

It was sort of ok that I wasn't in chicago, because you weren't either, but now it feels weird!! Miss you tons!