Memo to my future self: stop trying to do things! Everyone says it's supposed to be easy to travel and eat out and generally do lots of things with babies because newborns just sleep and eat. Do I need my memory jogged? Did Nolan do that? Does anyone's baby really do that? I keep trying to be that mom/family. And every time we attempt it we come home feeling particularly guilty, like we've put our baby through something awful for our benefit alone, exhausted, and in need of takeout and a beer. It might be that Frances is a "high needs baby" or that she is just a baby and needs to have he needs met, and crying is how she communicates.
She loves cozying right up in the crook of my arm, she's warm and I can hear her breaths deepen and lengthen.
November 7.
Fast forward a week or so, and I'm sitting and letting my girl snooze on me, in the way she does all night long. She sleeps so well on my chest, and I'm happy to keep her head and my heart together, regulating her breathing and tuning my response.
My boys are at storytime at the library, and while I'd love to be there with Nolan on my lap, I can imagine his bright eyes listening to the reader, I'm here holding my girl, thinking about how fast time passes. I go back to work in a few weeks, with dread and anticipation simultaneously. And when I do, these snuggles will be fleeting. Not over, but I can't remember the last time my busy toddler napped on my chest. They grow up fast. They are small for such a short time. I'm going to soak up and remember these next few weeks.
No comments:
Post a Comment